True image expression

Following on from previous discussions on image, let's now look a little deeper into how you can build on this.

Erecting barriers to true expression

Almost everyone experiences a certain amount of self-consciousness. It’s part of the human condition. But if you let self-consciousness interfere with your actions, it can neutralise an important positive attribute to your psyche, your self-esteem and consciously or unconsciously the potential investor will pick this up.

The problem is that your projected image of self may not appear to be materialising correctly. You may be inhibited by social contacts, by personal attributes, by a lack of self-esteem. These obstacles may force your self-image into a quite different aspect from what you would hope them to be. Worse you may not perceive your true image through self-deception, through inhibition or through an inability to see yourself clearly. Clarity of observation is prevented by the barrier of self consciousness you have erected. The prototype is the person who is not in touch with himself or herself. This person is not wholly integrated into one individual personality and is, in effect, split up into two personalities. The imagined personality and the real personality.

The person out of touch with him or herself can never be in complete control. No one in such a confused state of mind can be natural and as you will recall from earlier in the series, being natural is a prime consideration for an entrepreneur when maximising their opportunities of success in the first meeting. No one who is a bundle of contradictions can ever hope to project style. No one who is out of control can ever hope to project charisma.

The way to get in touch with yourself is first through self-analysis, then through a subsequent exercise in re-training and re-directing your psyche, and, finally through rebuilding yourself into a person more like the one you really want to be.

How can you do it?

First of all you have to know both your inner and outer selves for what you are and understand yourself without frills, without hopes and without self-deception.

Getting in touch with yourself

Drawing a picture of yourself

The first step in getting in touch with yourself is to sit down in front of a mirror and study yourself as objectively as you can. OK, you’re not Brad Pitt or Jennifer Lopez or whoever else is popular at the time of reading this self-help guide. You will always find something there that bothers you. If you’re normal there will be a lot more there that you don’t particularly like.

You cannot pretend that you do not look like the image in the mirror because you do. Yet you must remember that other people already see you as you really are and that they are not negatively affected by your appearance. Since surely this is the case, then why should you be?

Selecting the key features

The second step in getting in touch with yourself is to select the feature of your face that you think is best. Hair, eyes, nose, and so on. This might spread to obvious masculinity, or obvious femininity.
 
Probably you’ve always known your most distinctive feature and it’s quite likely that you already accentuate it to some degree to make it your key feature, and if you don’t then you certainly should.

Once you have selected your key feature, you must remember to use it as a central reference point in the creation of your image. You should use it to describe yourself to others. By remembering it is your main feature, you can proceed to construct the rest of your persona upon it. And once you have decided on that feature, you must determine how to make it even more attractive or arresting. Then you will create an image that is even more individual, even more noticeable, even more exceptional and, hopefully, even more unforgettable!

The search for the exceptional

Finding the good feature is only part of the process in getting in touch with yourself. The next step is to find the worst. Hair? Nose? Chin? And so on. Everyone has one or two bad features. Even the most beautiful person has a bad side. Everyone has moles and warts or something like that. Try to put your bad feature or features in the proper perspective.

The key is to think of your flaws and admit them, to realise what they are but to know that they could be worse and to rise above them. To a degree, ignore them. The thing not to do is to pretend that they don’t exist. Live with them.

Breaking yourself up into parts

Self-knowledge is not the easiest thing in the world to obtain. Most people never even try to know themselves. Instead they fashion themselves into versions of other people and, as a result, become nothing but a bad imitation.

Take an inventory of what you consider to be your strong points of character. I’m talking about the elements of your personality that exert most influence on your actions.

Are you, for example, passive or active? Optimistic or pessimistic? Serious or frivolous? Do you have a sense of humour, or do you just think that you have one? Are you gregarious or shy? Robust or delicate?

Make up a true inventory and study it carefully. By putting together all the pieces that you are, you should be able to put together a picture of yourself as others see you. Keep that picture in mind and carry it about with you, so that you know exactly who you are in those crucial few minutes when you meet the potential investor for the first time.

Criticism and what to do with it

Think back to criticisms that have been made of you in the past. Never take all such criticisms seriously as many are just cheap shots thrown at you for all manner of reasons. In many cases these criticisms are exaggerated. However, you should think about them because there may be something to them. It’s a question of striking the right balance.

Think beyond verbal communication. Study non-verbal statements. People usually volunteer what they really think of you and if you’re truly sensitive you may be able to pick up those thoughts use them to improve yourself. In this way you should be able to find out what makes you stand out in the eyes of others.

With all these points in mind and with your own inventory, you can get a good idea of who you are, where you are and where you are going. From this overall acclimatisation, you can develop your behaviour to emphasise and polish what you like in your nature and at the same time underplay and minimise those things that you don’t care for.

Next time we'll talk about nurturing your self-confidence.

Link
http://www.go-between.co.uk